By the Began in '96 staff

Presenting: Began in '96's second annual stab at gettin' you drunk.

It's here. That wonderful, most American of unofficial holidays is here. It's Super Bowl Sunday, and this one could be a doozy. It's got Alicia Keys, Beyonce, a Destiny's Child reun— er, I mean, football!

On one side, a rookie quarterback tries to make history, shattering both that old "only pocket passers win championships" trope and Alex Smith's soul in the process. On the other, Ray Rice, the newly possibly elite Joseph Flacco and the reanimated corpse of Ed Reed try to send stabby messiah Ray Lewis off with a final trophy, before he ascends to sit at the right hand of the Lord.

And in the middle is you, a bucket of wings and a lot of alcohol. For the second year in a row, we're going to help you drink that alcohol with our Super Bowl Drinking Game. The game is divided into four sections: Pregame, Super Bowl, Halftime and Postgame. But get familiar with all the rules, because they all apply throughout the game. So if at any point there's a commercial of a monkey riding a dog through Hurricane Katrina while wearing shoulder pads, you best be drinking.

Note: A missed drinking opportunity is a two-drink penalty, plus your best imitation of Ray Lewis' pregame dance.

PREGAME

1. You see a fan in facepaint and way too many Mardi Gras beads-- drink

Oh, are you not sure where the Super Bowl is being held this year? It's in NAWLINS, where according to TV execs, purple and gold facepaint and an ungodly amount of plastic beads is the equivalent of business casual anywhere else in the country (Note: this may not be far from the truth).

It's a shame how much Mardi Gras beads have been devalued over time. They used to mean something. You had to be a certain kind of drunk (very) to even have a chance. Now they're handed out like participation trophies. This is the real wimpification of America, people.

2. Hurricane Katrina is shoehorned into a soft-focus feature-- waterfall

It's been nearly eight years since Drew Brees started rebuilding New Orleans, brick by brick, with his bare hands and no one around to help him. The city's come a long way since then: purple and gold facepaint sales are up, beadmakers are back at work, and now here comes the Super Bowl. If there's but one tenuous connection between Katrina and these two teams, NBC will be sure to drag it into the studio and set it against some soft background piano.

3. The pregame crew gets the chuckles-- drink until the chucklefest stops

[CURTAIN RISES]: Five aging ex-football players sit around a semi-circular table. Their tie knots are invariably too big for their necks. At least two are power clashing so hard you wonder if your TV's color settings are off. Another might not even know where he is right now.

[TALKING HEAD ONE]: Tries to present semi-coherent analysis. Fails.

[TALKING HEAD TWO]: Responds with stupid pun.

[ALL TALKING HEADS]: Dissolve into inane round of trying to out-chuckle each other.

[YOU]: Change the channel, only to find it's happening EVERYWHERE. Respond by drinking.

[SCENE]

4. Anything involving a camera and Ray Lewis-- drink, shed fake tear

Ray Lews hearts the camera. Unless he's being asked about PEDs or maybe seeing/participating in those two guys getting stabbed and then running away. You know, all that unfair stuff.

But otherwise, Ray Lewis hearts the camera. And you can bet the camera hearts him right back. Whether he's praying or crying or giving an overwrought sermon, it'll be beamed right into your living room over and over again.

Bonus drink for every time "Ray Lewis" and "redemption" end up in the same sentence.

5. Someone mentions that the Harbaughs are brothers-- drink, bro hug somebody

The Harbaughs are brothers. They're in the Super Bowl, coaching against each other. That's the extent of the meh that we can muster for this exhausted story line.

Bonus chug if someone mentions Joani, the lost Harbaugh sister and a wonderful lady.

SUPER BOWL

1. Ray Lewis is praised for making a routine tackle-- drink

Ray Lewis is potentially the greatest linebacker/murderer to ever play the game. Even so, when he makes a tackle six yards from the line of scrimmage, he's doing his job, not saving the world. No added praise necessary.

2. An Alex Smith sad face-- drink

Alex Smith was the king of San Francisco. And then Colin Kaepernick, with his speed and arm strength and sweet tats, came in and kicked Smith off the cool kids table. Now he's forced to sit with the band geeks and, gasp, kickers, and sulk into his shoulder pads. Every time you see him on the sideline, staring aimlessly off into the distance, toast him to what could have been.

Bonus drink if he's standing on the sideline with his helmet on.

3. Ed Reed hits someone in the end zone after they've already scored-- drink

Ed Reed is so old that one day body parts will start falling off while he's running, and eventually he'll just be a torso and a head trying to bite people's ankles as they run by. And he'll still get a Pro Bowl invite.

But until then, ballhawkin' Ed Reed will spend his Sundays desperately trying to keep up with receivers. And when he inevitably fails, he'll hit them in the end zone anyway, just so he can feel something again.

Bonus drink if after the hit, he stays on the ground for 5+ seconds.

4. Ray Rice is referred to as "little" or "forgotten."-- drink

There are always a bunch of manufactured storylines leading up to the Super Bowl, but this one was the weirdest. Ray Rice is, for the record, 5'8," 212 lbs. That is not a small man, especially by running back standards. He is also, for the record, a former college star and second-round draft pick, owner of four straight 1,000-yard rushing seasons and a three-time Pro Bowler. That has not gone unnoticed.

And yet.

5. Phil Simms adds extra 'e's to a word-- dreeeenk

Phil Simms is one half of your broadcast booth this year. WOOF. He is the greatest, blandest spouter of cliches on television, and that's quite the accomplishment given that he'll be standing right next to fellow gasbagger Jim Nantz. What puts him over the top is that subtle, tinny accent, that works eets wayee into nearly everee sentence of the gayme.

Bonus drink if Nantz descends into a golf whisper, or at any point utters, "a tradition unlike any other."

6. A fan wearing shoulder pads-- drink

What is the mindset here? A debate that some of the staff here has had is which sport possesses the fan base with the lowest collective IQ. NASCAR had the edge originally, until these guys starting popping up everywhere, just hoping that after all 75 or so players on a team have been injured, the coach will peer into the stands, point at them, and launch them to stardom.

In the meantime, it's just extremely inconsiderate to your seatmates.

Bonus drink if the fan is also wearing a helmet and/or eye black.


7. One of the Harbaughs throws a tantrum- drink, stomp around for a bit

Jim and John have the on-field tantrum down to a T. They've perfected it. It's over. Mike Krzyzewski and Lou Piniella watch them together and stew, bitter that they've never reached that level of childishness.

HALFTIME

1. You remember the name of the third Destiny's Child member-- drink 

C'mon. Not even Beyonce knows who she is. Besides, she might not even be there because she's super busy doing other important, totally not-made up things.

2. Jay-Z makes an appearance-- drink

You're now watching — and enjoying! — the Super Bowl halftime show. Savor it.

Bonus drink if Kanye is with him. Bonus CHUG if Kanye does something stupid.

3. Commercial featuring a dog or monkey-- drink

Cats and clydesdales had their time. It's all about the dogs and monkeys now. Or preferably, a monkey riding a dog.

4. Commercial featuring someone in their underwear-- drink

If it's not an animal, then it's a dude in his underwear. These are the only proven tactics for making Americans laugh.

Depressing bonus drink if you think it's going to be a girl in her underwear and then it ends up being a guy.

POSTGAME

1. Roger Goodell gets booed-- drink, bask in the booing chorus

Let's see: I feel like there was something that happened with Goodell and New Orleans... Goodell... New Orleans... oh yeah THAT'S RIGHT. It only involved suspending a bunch of players and a coach and torpedoing the Saints' season over something that everyone in the NFL does but only the Saints made into a formal system. They were just trying to be organized, and this is what they got.

OH. And then a bunch of those suspensions were overturned. So that happened. Add in the feeble attempts at protecting the brains of the people who make everyone's money for them, and it should be a fun ride for the commish.

2. Player wears his championship t-shirt over his shoulder pads-- drink

Eli Manning pioneered championship chic, and it's caught on over the years. There's nothing quite like looking like a transformer when you're accepting the Lombardi Trophy. Granted, this year, players might keep their pads on for fear Ed Reed wants to fit in one more late hit.

3. Ray Lews cries/thanks God-- chug

If the Ravens win, this will happen. If they don't win, this will happen. Use it as your final opportunity to get plastered.

4. You make it through the entire night of Began in '96's Super Bowl drinking game-- finish your drink and call in sick for tomorrow

Congrats, you made it. Only seven more months 'til preseason starts.

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By Mary Grace Miller

The NCAA is finally facing legal and media pushback for its absolute, and potentially illegal, control over "student-athletes."

The National Collegiate Athletic Association was established in 1906 on the principle that student-athletes should be protected. But today, the nonprofit, tax-exempt organization does a better job exploiting these student-athletes than protecting them.

Over the last 100-plus years, it has become clear that the NCAA views these “student-athletes” as, in fact, just athletes. Scandal after scandal has hit the newspapers: athletes accepting tattoos or selling their jerseys in exchange for cash -- and even a coach looking the other way. These acts are clearly wrong under the current regulations. But once you get a true understanding of how the NCAA operates, it’s hard not to want to tell every star player to go sell his jersey.

In the past few months, the image of the NCAA as an immoral and, likely unlawful, bully has begun to emerge. New York Times columnist Joe Nocera has played a central role by calling for players to be compensated, comparing the NCAA to a cartel, and even calling out Harvard as a “scaredy cat” for failing to stand up to the NCAA’s “pettiness.”  

Nocera is not the only one to comment. Taylor Branch, a prominent civil rights writer and Pulitzer Prize-winning author, wrote a moving piece in The Atlantic titled “The Shame of College Sports". Branch notes that college players get nothing and have few, if any, rights as NCAA athletes. Even with a full tuition scholarship, they are not compensated anywhere close to the equivalent of the millions of dollars that everyone else makes thanks off of their immense talent. Not even men's basketball and football players have the right to profit, even though that tiny percentage of the total college athlete population brings in a whopping 90% of the NCAA's annual revenue.

That disparity exists because of the regulations students must agree to before stepping foot on any NCAA-sanction court or field, regulations that have created a nonsensical system where student-athletes -- the very people the NCAA was created to protect -- sign away rights that the NCAA argues they never had to begin with.

Why won't the NCAA at least let the kids who make millions of dollars each year for corporate execs and television networks live above the poverty line?

It's hard to wrestle with the idea that college students would truly be paid for their athletic prowess, but a number of proposals have been made in an effort to find a fair balance. If the NCAA is truly an organization charged with protecting student-athletes, shouldn’t it be leading the way? Shouldn’t it be finding a way to provide adequate living allowances rather than requiring kids to sign away their rights to their images and likeness, among other things?

Instead, the NCAA has swung to the other end of the spectrum. It intentionally coined the term “student-athlete” in an effort to eliminate the possibility that a student may try to claim workers' compensation. Under the NCAA’s definition, the student is not a worker, even if every bit of common sense points to big-time football and basketball players being at least part-time employees.

It's also robbed students of the opportunity to ever benefit from their college athletic success. NCAA bylaws require student-athletes to relinquish “all rights in perpetuity to the commercial use of their images, including after they graduate and are no longer subject to NCAA regulations.” That means a college athlete, at no time while in school or after, has the right to profit off of his or her image as a college player.

Student-athletes are finally fighting back against the NCAA's absolute power by taking their grievances to the courts. In In Re Likeness & Licensing Litigation, Ed O’Bannon, a former UCLA basketball star, and other former NCAA star athletes have filed suit against the NCAA and video-game maker EA Sports in an antitrust action. The main claim in the case is that “the NCAA has violated federal antitrust law by unlawfully foreclosing former Division I men’s basketball and football players from receiving any compensation relating to the commercial use of their images and likenesses.”


The court has allowed the claims to proceed despite the NCAA’s motions to dismiss, and will hear the case in May 2013.

Several similar cases against the NCAA have been merged into one, so an action by another player regarding EA Sports has joined the lawsuit. The issue here is the relationship between the NCAA and EA Sports and allegations that that EA Sports agreed “not to offer payment to athletes once they left their college sports careers, in addition to NCAA’s rule prohibiting compensation of current student athletes.” Under antitrust laws, a court may find that to be illegal.

This case is especially important because if the athletes win, it would mean that students, as student-athletes and later as adults, could receive proceeds from their college images. It could also create a bit of a mess for the NCAA. Although this case won’t be heard for a year or so, it seems that the NCAA should be preemptively doing as much for these kids as they can. If they don’t, legislation or a court order may soon require it. 

Something has got to give. The NCAA must start taking steps towards truly protecting the students, or the schools must put pressure on the NCAA to do something. There are a number of possibilities as to how a new, fair and just system would work. Though the concept of paying student-athletes might seem shocking initially, when viewed in a larger context, it becomes the only appropriate step. It's simply compensating human beings for the work they do and the profit they create for so many others. Failing to do so would not only go against the NCAA's so-called principles, but the standards we apply to our society as a whole.

 Mary Grace Miller is a law student and Began in '96 contributor.

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By the Began in '96 staff

Presenting Began in '96's First Annual Super Bowl Drinking Game.

America's biggest, greatest unofficial holiday is this Sunday. Football will be watched, food will be eaten, halftime shows will be mercilessly mocked, and in the end, we'll crown the survivor of the 21-game full-contact marathon we call the NFL season.

This is cause for celebration, and while only the fans on one side will go home happy, there's no reason everyone can't end up a little tipsy. So in between stuffing your face with wings and doing an embarrassing amount of yelling at the TV, grab a drink and commemorate the best day of the year with Began in '96's First Annual Super Bowl Drinking Game.

The game is divided into four sections: Pregame, Super Bowl, Halftime and Postgame. But be on your toes, all the rules apply for the entire night. So if, God forbid, Madonna crashes the pregame ceremonies to describe what life was like before football, you best be drinking.

Note: A missed drinking opportunity is a two-drink penalty, plus 10 seconds of getting berated in the style of Tom Coughlin on Matt Dodge.

PREGAME

1. Someone says something complementary about the city of Indianapolis-- drink

We know, it's unlikely. But the pregame analysts have to introduce their segment with something, and a through-your-teeth "Welcome to beautiful Indianapolis, Indiana" goes over better than the far more honest  "Welcome to Indianapolis, the convention center capital of the world," or "Welcome to Indianapolis, where the only reason we're here is because the stadium's got a roof and we can't do Miami every year."

Bonus drink for mentions of city landmarks like the NCAA headquarters, Indianapolis Motor Speedway and the Eiteljorg Museum of American Indians and Western Art.

2. Soft-focus feature on the life story of one of players-- drink

Guaranteed to be at least one, and with Bob Costas in the mix, there may be more. Monologues and somber interviews, this is what NBC does. There are a ton of story lines here, from Eli Manning's football family to Rob Gronkowski's emergence to Mark Herzlich's journey from cancer victim to Super Bowl linebacker. If you're really committed, set odds on who NBC will end up going with.

Bonus drink for the phrases "unlikely hero," "out of nowhere," and "difficult upbringing."

3. A crossover feature with the NBC pregame crew and an advertiser-- drink and contemplate the future of media

It's no longer enough to say a segment is "brought to you by...," now advertisers want their product infiltrating the actual studio. And with half of a day to kill before kickoff, there's a very real possibility NBC could become the third network to interview the E*TRADE baby. We'd tell you to watch closely for these, but you'll know when you're getting bashed over the head with it.

Bonus CHUG if they actually interview the E*TRADE baby.

4. Someone says something about Tom Brady that's completely unrelated to football-- drink

He's rich. His girlfriend is a Brazilian supermodel. He's got impeccable features. He calls teammates "babe." Guys want to be him and girls want to be with him, and inevitably the conversation will steer toward Brady's off-the-field attributes. Go ahead, we know you want to throw your two cents in there. Just do it after you've taken a drink.

5. Overhead blimp shot of the stadium-- drink

Possibly the only reason blimps are still around is to provide that scenic overhead. Someone is working hard up in that awkward balloon; toast them before you take a sip.

SUPER BOWL

1. Camera pans to: Archie Manning, Peyton Manning, Cooper Manning, Eli Manning's wife and/or kid, Bill Belicheck in a cutoff hoodie, Tom Coughlin yelling, random celebrities-- drink

This could be a busy one, folks. There are so many stories sitting there on the sidelines and in the stands, and they'll be impossible for Michaels and Collinsworth to ignore. The more tense the game gets, the more NBC will be looking for the crowd reaction shots, especially if Eli is leading his usual fourth-quarter comeback.

Bonus drink for every mention of Peyton's neck or what he means to the city, or Archie Manning and what he means to Peyton/Eli or the city of New Orleans.

Bonus drink for a David Spade sighting.

Bonus CHUG if an announcer talks about how Cooper Manning was once the best of the clan.

2. Manningface-- drink

Ah, the Manning face. Is there anything more amusing? Be on guard for these whenever a play goes wrong, Eli overthrows his receiver, or something just plain smells bad on the field.

Bonus drink if the camera cuts from an Eli Manningface directly to a Peyton Manningface.

3. BenJarvus Green-Ellis is referred to as The Law Firm-- drink

It's because he has a lot of names. Get it? It's also a crutch for announcers trying to describe what is otherwise perhaps the most perfectly average back in all of the NFL. Green-Ellis is most likely to get carries around the goal line, as the Pats will probably go with the quicker Stevan Ridley or the better receiver in Danny Woodhead outside of the red zone.

4. Chris Collinsworth takes advantage of a break in the game to gasbag about the good ol' days-- drink

Collinsworth is an excellent analyst who is often able to break down every part of a play in the time it takes us to reach for the bag of chips. In exchange for that vast knowledge, though, we have to put up with some nostalgia. Okay, a lot of nostalgia. Collinsworth has a ton of stories from his playing days, and given the chance, he'll launch right into them.

Bonus drink if it's an excessive celebration penalty that sets Collinsworth off.

5. Someone mentions that Victor Cruz was an undrafted free agent-- drink and yell Cruuuuuuuz

Cruz is one of the best stories of this NFL season, and should play a major role in the Super Bowl. He's torched almost every team he's played this season, and New England's porous pass defense should have its hands full. More catches means more screen time for Cruz, and you can be sure someone will point out (perhaps multiple times depending on how serious they're taking the drinking game) that Cruz was initially shunned by the league.

Two bonus drinks if someone points out that Cruz was a one-star recruit coming out of high school.

6. Brady pouts over not getting a roughing the passer call-- drink

Being a future Hall-of-Fame quarterback comes with its privileges, and one of them is favorable treatment from the referees. Brady is one of the best in the pocket, and also one of the best actors after the play, often getting a call if a defender breathes on him too hard. But should a ref have the nerve to overlook one of these offenses, you can bet Brady will throw a tantrum.

Bonus drink if the ref throws a flag after Brady starts his pouting.

7. Someone tells you the commercials are the best part of the Super Bowl-- drink until you can forgive them

There's at least one at every Super Bowl party. They walk in front of the TV, ask who's playing, spend most of the game chit-chatting, and then shush everyone when the commercials come on. Yes, it's cool that companies put effort into these ads rather than just bombarding you with their Discount Double Check every five minutes. But this is the age of YouTube and blogs. If you miss one, it won't be lost to the ether forever.

Bonus drink for every commercial that features a trained animal, man in underwear, or robot.

HALFTIME

1. Madonna opens halftime with a song that's more than 20 years old-- drink for as many seconds as years since it came out, then drink again for knowing when the song came out

Super Bowl viewership is still dominated by the older crowd, and after the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake fiasco, we might never see another performer under 50. Enjoy the dulcet tones of Madonna's reanimated corpse, break down the first half, and be thankful Will.i.am isn't up on stage again.

2. Clips of David Tyree's helmet catch or Vinatieri's field goal through a blizzard-- finish your drink, then crush the can on your head or placekick it into the trash can, whichever applies

Neither moment will ever get old for their respective fan bases, and that's as it should be. Every franchise should have at least one moment that it can hold onto forever, and these two teams have gotten theirs within the past 15 years. When one of these clips is shown, every fan of that team has to say where he/she was when it happened, then take a bonus drink.

3. Tim Tebow is mentioned, or someone in the room Tebows-- drink

Don't think you can escape a Super Bowl without someone invoking his name. Outside of the now traditional presidential pregame interview, Tim Tebow could spark the most heated debate of the night. Just make sure it's settled before the third quarter.

Bonus drink if someone trolls the entire room by saying God wants Tim Tebow to win.

4. Bob Costas' monologue makes you feel bad about yourself-- chug until the sad goes away

No one has perfected the "light scolding" voice like Bob Costas, and he should be in top form at the Super Bowl. His monologue will most certainly couch football in the context of life as a whole, and if you feel slightly sadder and more confused afterward, he's done his job. Remember, Bob Costas isn't angry, he's just upset.

POSTGAME

1. Bob Kraft misses a high five-- drink

Even after all the wins, the Patriots' owner still has trouble with the simple high five. In what could end up a high-scoring game, Kraft will have plenty of chances to show off his celebration skills, meaning plenty of chances for those celebrations to go horribly, awkwardly awry.

Bonus drink if Kraft is wearing an I-banker shirt.

2. Unnatural pre-written speech by a member of the trophy presentation party-- drink

A lot of times a league sponsor will send a representative to say a few words about its partnership with the NFL and how proud it is to present the trophy to the...uh...let's see what's written here...I don't really watch football...Oh!...Patriots or Giants! Great match, guys. These are stilted, uncomfortable and the perfect opportunity to drink.

Bonus drink if the crowd boos Roger Goodell.

3. Ad for The Voice, coming up next on NBC-- drink

The show right after the Super Bowl always sees a bump in its ratings, and this year the lucky winner is NBC's knock-off version of American Idol. Drink while you can, because after the Super Bowl, you won't have a convenient excuse to reach for a beer every time one these insufferable ads comes on.

4. You make it through the entire night of Began in '96's Super Bowl drinking game-- finish your drink and call in sick for tomorrow

Congrats, you made it. Only seven more months 'til preseason starts.

We surely missed a ton of drinking opportunities, so put additional rules in the comments, and on behalf of the Began in '96 crew, Godspeed.

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By Adam Cancryn

Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck is the consensus No. 1 draft pick, and Robert Griffin III's ascension shouldn't change that.

Now that Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III are both turning pro, let the games begin.

The second-guessing games.

Luck has been the consensus No. 1 NFL draft pick for two years now. Over that period, he's resurrected the Stanford football program, twice finished second in Heisman voting, inspired a "Suck for Luck" campaign and drawn comparisons to Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.

In November 2010, CBSSports' Rob Rang called Luck the "best quarterback and elite prospect" he's ever scouted, and the overwhelming opinion is that the 6'4" Washington, D.C. native is as sure a thing as you can find coming out of college.

But inevitably, doubts will arise at some point between the end of the NFL season and the draft. Scouts, TV analysts and team front offices will entertain those pesky insecurities that go along with any big investment. Is Luck really that good? Have we hyped him up too much? Is his arm strength/accuracy/mobility what we thought it is?

And what about Robert Griffin III?

Let's do everyone a favor and nip this all in the bud right now. Andrew Luck is the best player in the draft, period. Every snap he's taken over the past two years has been scrutinized and dissected by thousands of experts, and those experts have consistently come to the same conclusion. Luck was the best in 2010, he was the best in 2011 and the few months leading up to the draft aren't going to change that in 2012.

Griffin isn't going to change that either. He's an intriguing athletic specimen, a track star with a strong arm and a knack for making big plays. He's also led a resurrection, turning Baylor from patsy to powerhouse. Considering the success the similarly skilled Cam Newton had in his rookie year with the Panthers, it's tempting to project that same fate onto Griffin.

Yet as exciting and flashy as Griffin might be, he is also erratic and raw; the classic high risk/high reward prospect. Luck, meanwhile, is polished and experienced and unquestionably talented, and therefore also very boring.

The No. 1 pick is made for those boring sure things, though. It's one of the largest, rarest investments a team will make, and for that reason it has to pay off. So when the Indianapolis Colts are put on the clock this April, they must drown out the doubts, go with their gut and make Andrew Luck their next franchise quarterback.


The Week Ahead (all times EST)- Your guide to what to watch-- and what to watch for-- this coming week


College Basketball
Baylor at Kansas- Jan. 16 at 9:30 (ESPN)
Michigan St. at Michigan- Jan. 17 at 7 (ESPN)
Georgetown at Rutgers- Jan. 21 at noon
Virginia Tech at UVa.- Jan. 22 at 6 (ESPNU)
NBA
Lakers at Heat- Jan. 19 at 8 (TNT)
Timberwolves at Clippers- Jan. 20 at 10:30 (ESPN)
NHL
Bruins at Devils- Jan. 19 at 7 (NESN/MSG+)
Penguins at Rangers- Jan. 19 at 7 (FOX PITT/MSG)
Rangers at Bruins- Jan. 21 at 1 (MSG/NESN/NHLNET)
NFL Playoffs
Ravens at Patriots- Jan. 22 at 3 p.m. (CBS)
Giants at 49ers- Jan. 22 at 6:30 p.m. (FOX)
Santana's comeback
Keep an eye on New York Mets' ace John Santana's recovery. The pitcher missed all of the 2011 season, and is eyeing an Opening Day return after throwing on flat ground last week.
Going Pro
Expect more college players to declare for the NFL draft. Baylor's Robert Griffin III, Oregon's LaMichael James and Alabama's Trent Richardson made it official last week, among others.


In the Kitchen- Tracking the major hot stove stories 

• Highly coveted Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes has at least six teams chasing after him. The 26-year-old free agent outfielder has drawn interest from the Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers and Miami Marlins. Miami, which has been active throughout the offseason, has said it will be "aggressive right to the point of stupidity" when it comes to Cespedes. 
• It's looking like the rich might get even richer down in Texas, where the Rangers have had preliminary meetings with Prince Fielder. The former Brewers slugger has also been connected to the Seattle Mariners and Washington Nationals, but it's believed they're not willing to shell out the kind of money that Fielder wants. Though the Rangers are currently negotiating with Japanese import Yu Darvish, should that deal fall through-- or if they have the resources to go after both-- Fielder would top their wish list.
• The New York Yankees are stockpiling arms again, trading for Mariners hotshot Michael Pineda and signing Hiroki Kuroda. Outside of CC Sabathia, the Yanks haven't had great luck acquiring pitchers-- see Burnett, A.J.-- but Pineda and Kuroda represent different kinds of bets. Pineda is just 22, and under team control for the next five years, giving them plenty of time to get value before having to pay him big money. They had to give up star prospect Jesus Montero to get him, but given the Yankees' offensive firepower and their bandbox of a stadium, great pitchers are more valuable than great hitters. Kuroda, meanwhile, is 36 but was signed for just one year. It's a low risk/high reward deal that won't put New York in a financial hole. 
• Dmitri Young hasn't played in the MLB since 2008, but he's testing the waters for a comeback. The slimmed-down Young is shopping himself as a cheap gamble that could be a solid bat off the bench or even at first base. 
• The Boston Red Sox have invited longtime catcher and captain Jason Varitek to training camp, but the loyalty ends there. He'd be a non-roster player, giving him just a slim chance of actually making the team, as Boston already has two catchers. Though Varitek's offensive output has diminished, the Sox were 42-22 last year when he started, as opposed to 48-50 when Jared Saltalamacchia was behind the dish. Varitek will likely either take this invite or retire.

Web Gems- The week's best, worst or strangest Internet sports finds

From the SI vault, President Richard Nixon compares hands with then Louisiana Tech quarterback Terry Bradshow in 1970.

Did this man really cut Michael Jordan?- Thomas Lake's magnificent investigation into the story that Michael Jordan was cut in high school, and the divergent paths Jordan and his coach took in the following years.

Coming Up- What's next at Began in '96

• Later today: The Began in '96 staff makes their sports predictions for 2012
• Tuesday: Greg Mathews breaks down Prince Fielder's ongoing free agent saga.
• Wednesday: The story of the upstart UVa. men's basketball team, and the 67-year-old undergrad following them every step of the way, by Adam Cancryn.
• Thursday: Joe Schackman warns that history tells us not to expect too much from Andrew Luck too soon.
• Friday: Adam Cancryn wonders how ESPN will fill the news hole left by Tim Tebow's playoff exit.

Read more »

By Adam Cancryn

Week 15: When most everybody is knocked out of their fantasy football league, and they start rooting actual teams, rather than some combination of Denver defense/Ray Rice/Tom Brady butonlyifhe'sthrowingto Welker.

• Rex Grossman kicked off the Redskins-Giants derpfest in fine fashion, throwing an interception on the first play from scrimmage. It came off a flea flicker that had wideout Santana Moss a step out in front of his defender, but Grossman underthrew it and allowed Corey Webster to pick it off.
• Six passes later, Grossman would throw another one. Yet neither translated into any points for the Giants.
• Before exiting with an injury, A.J. Green put on quite a show. He ran under a severely overthrown ball early in the first quarter, diving to make a 55-yard catch that set up Cincinnati within the five.
• He then got targeted twice, both times making acrobatic catches that ended up out of bounds. The Bengals got a field goal out of the possession, and Green ended the game with six catches for 115 yards.
• The Rams wore their old-style uniforms in honor of Marshall Faulk, who was inducted into its Ring of Honor. The uniforms mimicked the style from St. Louis' 1999 championship.

• Jets castoff Kellen Clemens got the start for the Rams, throwing his first touchdown since 2007.
• Meanwhile, Seattle running back Marshawn Lynch continued to roll, scoring a touchdown in his 10th consecutive game. 
• The TD helped the Seahawks to another win, and they are quietly putting together an above-average season. They've now won five of their last six games.
• Also in the rundown of TD milestones, Drew Brees wasted little time in registering a touchdown pass for the 41st consecutive game, leaving him just six behind record holder Johnny Unitas.
• He also completed a pass to nine different receivers during the game.
• At 3-0 at the end of the first quarter, the Colts led a game for the first time since Week 5.
• How's this for tone deaf: An ESPN spokesman tweeted that Tim Tebow was mentioned 133 times on NFL Sunday Countdown, like it was an accomplishment to be proud of.
• Eli Manning finished the first quarter v. the Redskins 0-6 passing, which was the worst start of his career. His first completion came with just under 14 minutes left in the second quarter, which was then followed by an acrobatic interception by OJ Atogwe. 
• The New York Giants have trailed in every single game this season. 
• Lance Moore's touchdown dance, via SBNation:

• Chicago's Johnny Knox suffered a rough injury, when his back got twisted awkwardly during a tackle. Reports are that he will undergo surgery but should come out of it okay.
• Kyle Orton played his first full game for the Chiefs, and did he look impressive. The former Denver quarterback threw for 299 yards and led Kansas City to a win over previously undefeated Green Bay.
• The Packers went 363 days in between losses, and it was the first time all season they've trailed in the fourth quarter.
• It was also Romeo Crennel's first game as the Chiefs' head coach, and his defensive knowledge came in handy. The Chiefs were the first team to successfully limit Green Bay's offense, frustrating Aaron Rodgers all day and shutting down wide receiver Donald Driver.
• Rodgers nevertheless threw his 40th touchdown, setting a new team record.
• The Panthers pulled a trick out of Little Giants, running a variant on the fumblerooski for a score. It's tough to see in the video, but quarterback Cam Newton takes the snap, hands it off between the upback's legs and then takes off right. Meanwhile, the back ran it left and into the end zone.
• This week should seal the deal for Matt Hasselbeck's time as a starter for the Titans. He couldn't get anything going against the Colts' porous defense, and threw two picks to boot. He's looked increasingly unsteady just as rookie Jake Locker has hit his stride. Locker threw for 108 yards and a touchdown in relief of Hasselbeck.
• Speaking of laying down and playing dead, the Giants let it all fall apart this week. Eli Manning threw three interceptions and the defense couldn't stop Rex Grossman, and by the second half it was pretty much over. The Giants now need the Eagles to beat the Cowboys next week, as well as win their last two games.
• The Redskins had six interception coming into the day. They added three more in New York.
• The Giants are now 25-37 in the second half of the season under coach Tom Coughlin.
• Washington is now 5-9 for the sixth time in the past 10 years, according to WaPo's Dan Steinberg.
• This is the first time in NFL history that two rookie quarterbacks (Cam Newton and Andy Dalton) have thrown for 3,000+ yards.
• More stats on the Packers: they had trailed for just 103 minutes all season coming into the week. Against the Chiefs, they trailed for 55 minutes.
• Tom Brady came into his game against the Broncos with a 1-6 all-time record v. Denver.
• New England's defense is absolutely terrible, and it showed in Denver's first two possessions. The Broncos ran for more yards in the first quarter than anyone else during coach Bill Belichick's time with the Patriots.
• However, turnovers are the great equalizer. Two straight fumbles in the second quarter resulted in 14 points for the Pats, and helped them grab a lead they would never relinquish.
• Tim Tebow's fumble on an option play showed the consequence of making a poor read in the NFL. In college, a blown read will result in a short loss. In the NFL, that mistake allows the defense to get right up on the quarterback, forcing a significant loss or a hurried pitch.
• Ochocinco sighting! And this time it was for a deep touchdown early in the game. It was Chad Ochocinco's first TD as a Patriot and his 14th catch of the season.
• Calvin Johnson returned from a two game lull in a big way, catching nine balls for 214 yards and two touchdowns. That included a 51-yard TD early in the game.
• In the Jets-Eagles tilt, it was all about the turnovers. Seven combined in the first half, to be exact. Like the Giants, however, the Jets couldn't take advantage of theirs and consequently fell behind early and never recovered.
• At some point during the Tim Tebow Apologists' Hour, "announcer" Phil Simms suggested that Tebow misses some of his throws so badly because he wants to make sure they're not intercepted. Which would seem to imply that Tebow throws some of his passes with no intention of completing them, but merely not having them intercepted. Seems a little counterproductive, but that's the kind of anti-logic that persisted throughout the game.
• The halftime entertainment for the Broncos-Patriots game was a monkey riding a dog. That is all.

• Apparently there's a whole troupe that does this sort of thing: 

• Via Andrew Siciliano, Greg Little's touchdown was the Browns' first in the third quarter this year.
• The Jets really missed injured safety Jim Leonhard, who would have covered tight end Brent Celek. He was not there, and Celek racked up 156 yards an a touchdown on just five catches.
• For the second straight week, the Raiders played well for most the game and then lost it down the stretch. This time it was a 98-yard drive that culminated in a Lions touchdown to take the lead with 39 seconds left.
• The Lions have won nine games in a season for the first time since 2000, and are well on their way to a playoff appearance. Much of the credit goes to Matt Stafford, who has carried the team since it lost Jahvid Best and, with him, their entire running game.
• Detroit's win came at the expense of not getting to see Oakland's Sebastian Janikowski attempt a 65-yard field goal. The potential record setter was blocked as time expired.
• Finally, let's leave you with perhaps the funniest moment of the day, Tim Tebow's 29-yard sack. This was a pure Tecmo Bowl moment for a second, before devolving into a rookie quarterback with no idea how he got so far in the backfield and no intention of giving up.   

• Don't worry, "announcer" Phil Simms complimented Tebow for being fast enough to run that far backwards.

It's an actual good game on Monday night! Pittsburgh and consistently injured Ben Roethlisberger match up against the suddenly shaky yet still playoff-bound 49ers.

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By Adam Cancryn and Joe Schackman

It's inevitably Tebow week again, now that the world's grittiest athlete has heroically willed his team to yet another win. That makes five straight on the road for the Denver Tebows, and officially opens the floodgates for trolling columnists and haters of sports nerds and their statistics. Like this guy, award-winner Greg Couch! Fresh off of bravely stating that "Chances may be one-time things" and defending Tebow from that meany John Fox, he made sure to set the bar high early in the week, proclaiming Tebow as the league's most valuable player. Rational minds and those with heart problems, pregnant or nursing need not read.

Your Hangover, Week 13:

• Random piece of information that will have no bearing on anything: It had been more than two months since the Bears last played in the U.S. at 1 p.m. ET.
• Fred Davis has been the only consistent offensive weapon for the Redskins this year. Which is why it hurts even more that he will miss the next four games due to a substance abuse violation for smoking weed.
• If just the act of smoking marijuana is illegal, can it really fall under the banner of substance abuse? Isn't it just substance use? 
• Now that Donovan McNabb is no longer a Viking, it looks like backup quarterback Joe Webb will get more playing time in a Wildcat/option type of role. He did a little of it last week and got even more involved against the Broncos.
• The thing that makes Minnesota's Wildcat more dangerous than most is that Webb is actually a threat to throw, making for three options defenses have to account for, rather than the typical run/handoff outcome.
• For a Washington team likely starting to look toward next season, running back Roy Helu looks like a keeper, especially for a rushing offense ranked 31st in the league coming into the week. He finished with 100 yards and a touchdown v. the Jets.
• Minnesota's Jamarca Sanford made a great special teams non-play early in the game, not touching a rolling punt while he was in the end zone. He avoided the ball, and another teammate was able to run over and down it at the one yard line. On Denver's first offensive play, Jared Allen blitzed from the end and hit Willis McGahee in the end zone for a safety.
• The shovel pass should be stripped from all playbooks. There are much safer and more creative ways to get two yards.
• Cam Newton has now done it all for Carolina. He threw for 204 yards and a TD, ran for three more touchdowns and even caught a pass on a trick play. The pass went for 27 yards before he was tripped up just short of the end zone.
• Joe: Carolina hasn't had one primetime game this season. I guarantee that will change next year, after the performances Newton has put up.
• Related fun fact: The Panthers have played every single game at 1 p.m. ET or earlier.
• Newton's three touchdown runs set an NFL record for rushing TDs by a quarterback with 13. That's one more than New England's Steve Grogan in 1976.
• Before we go any further, let's get all the Tebow out of the way in one big clump:
• This was Tebow's most traditionally played game, in that he relied much more on his arm than on his legs. This isn't surprising; Minnesota has one of the worst pass defenses in the league. Expect the Denver Tebows to return to their college system next week.
• This was also Tebow's best game, in that he completed passes he needed to complete and converted crucial third downs. He couldn't rely completely on the defense this week, and yet was able to keep up in a shootout.
• The key, really, is that he didn't turn the ball over. Tebow has thrown just one interception so far this year, and any quarterback that takes care of the ball that well will give his team a chance to win. 
• That being said, the entire Denver offense struggled early on when it couldn't run the ball, gaining just 46 yards of total offense in the first half. And Tebow's two touchdowns and the crucial pass play to set up the game-winning field goal were the result of horrible blown coverages. There were very few times where Tebow had to fit throws into a tight window.
• Looking at Denver's remaining schedule, it's looking more likely that they will get into the playoffs. The defense is capable of playing inspired ball, and that's about all it should take to beat the Chiefs, Cutler-less Bears and the Bills. That's a 10-6 season, and more than enough in a weak division.
• Also, Denver has now won five straight road games for the first time since 1998.
• Joe: Tim Tebow is making plays. Do I honestly need to come to terms with the fact that he might succeed at QB in the NFL? I’m going to start a support group or something. We’ll have jackets.
• Meanwhile, while Tebow gets all the attention, Minnesota's Christian Ponder is the year's best rookie quarterback. He did all he could to get a win, breaking the team rookie record for passing yards in the process.
• In other hyped young quarterback news, the Jets' Mark Sanchez is one of just six QBs to win 30 games (including playoff wins) in his first three years, according to Boomer Esiason.
• Joe: For the glorified game-manager that Sanchez has become, he is horrendous with managing timeouts. He called timeout to prevent a 5-yard delay of game penalty on a 3rd and 23 situation when the Jets were already going to just run a dump play and punt.
• The Matt Moore/Reggie Bush offensive combo got the job done for Miami again v. the Raiders. Still look like the second-best team in that division right now, no matter the record.
• FOX is apparently going to do an animated Napoleon Dynamite show. Seven years after anyone cared about Napoleon Dynamite. Hard to see the thought process behind it, but here's the trailer: 

• I give it four episodes.
• It only took 13 weeks, but it looks like Tennessee's Chris Johnson is back in playing shape, rushing for 153 yards and two touchdowns in the win over the Bills.
• What did Ndomukong Suh do during his league-mandated week off? He got in his car and "lost the back end, spun around and hit a tree and a light pole and a (drinking) fountain." Nobody was hurt, and he wasn't drunk. So those are positives.
• T.J. Yates is a winner in his first start for Houston, throwing a touchdown while managing to stay out of Arian Foster's way (111 yards, one TD).
• Pittsburgh showed they're not ready to give up their hold on the division, stomping the upstart Bengals 35-7. It got so bad, quarterback Andy Dalton was benched in the fourth for Bruce Gradkowski, who then promptly threw an interception.
• Also bad: Ziggy Hood's Pee Wee Herman-inspired sack celebration.
• The Vikings' Kyle Rudolph with the best catch of the early games:

• It was a short-lived Chiefs debut for Kyle Orton. On the first play from scrimmage, Orton was hit hard and injured his finger, sitting out the rest of the game.
• Betting odds put the Patriots at +20 points v. the winless Colts, but Indianapolis played hard to the end. After falling behind big, they closed out the fourth with a 21-point burst to bring it within seven.
• They've still yet to win a game, though, with their last likely chance at a victory coming Week 17 v. the Jaguars. Suck for Luck is just about sown up.
• Indy quarterbacks Curtis Painter and Dan Orlovsky are now a combined 0-16 for their careers.
• Antonio Brown's 60-yard punt return for a touchdown was Pittsburgh's first punt return TD in 78 games.
• Kansas City's Dexter McCluster somehow caught this Hail Mary pass at the end of the half. It was the Chiefs' first touchdown in 12 quarters.
• Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski's three touchdown catches gave him 13 for the season, an NFL record for tight ends.
• Dan Bailey had been perfect kicking field goals since Week 2. He missed two today, and Dallas lost in overtime to the Cardinals.
• Bailey actually hit what would have been a game winner, but his own coach called timeout just before the snap, negating the kick. He missed the subsequent attempt.
• If you've watched football during the Tony Romo era, you had to know the Cowboys were losing that game. They're as bad in December as they are great in November.
• San Francisco's Frank Gore passed Joe Perry to become the team's all-time leading rusher.
• The Niners also clinched the NFC West title for the first time since 2002.
• The Giants play their best in the biggest games. What holds them back is all those other games against lesser opponents that they sleepwalk through.
• Victor Cruz is the kind of big play wideout New York hasn't had in a while. Sure, they had Plaxico Burress and Steve Smith, but those were niche guys, red zone and third down options. Cruz is a stretch the field, any-given-down receiver that's cleared up a lot of space for the Giants' offense.
• However, even the Giants' best game in months wasn't enough to stop the Packers' death by 1,000 receivers. Rodgers expertly spreads the ball around, and has had six or seven top-flight targets at his disposal.
• The Giants' secondary is in tatters, and has been since their championship run. Even with young talents like Aaron Ross and Kenny Phillips, there are consistently huge holes for receivers to sit down in. That means Manning and the offense have to always be the last to score, and that's not how it went down v. Green Bay.
• The Packers have now won 18 straight games, tied with seven other teams behind the '03-'04 Patriots (21 games).
• Ray Rice was the Ravens' offense this week, trampling the Browns for his first 200+ yard rushing game of his career.
• The Saints and Lions staged one of the more entertaining Sunday Night games, featuring a ton of passing and minimal defense. Both quarterbacks went over 300 yards easily, completing a number of deep completions. It's Drew Brees' precision in that medium 10-15 yard space that made the difference though, extending drives and softening up the defense for the longer strikes.
• Grantland had a solid piece about this a while back, but the Saints are excellent at creating space for their backs and even, to some extent, tight end Jimmy Graham. Just giving someone like Darren Sproles a few yards to maneuver before he meets a defender can turn a five yard catch into a 30 yard catch and run. 
• Matt Stafford did yeoman's work for the Lions, racking up 408 yards. But they're sorely missing Jahvid Best, another "space" player that provided an instant run game and a consistent check down option. Without him, Stafford has had to look down the field more often, resulting in more incompletions and interceptions. After throwing one v. the Saints, he now has 10 picks in his last four games.

San Diego-Jacksonville snorefest tonight. Instead, spend some time reading the first two parts of the New York Times' profile on the late NHL enforce Derek Boogard.

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By Adam Cancryn

After a bye week and self-imposed benching in solidarity with heavy sleeper Desean Jackson, The Hangover is back. So much has happened. The Dolphins are good. The Bills are bad. Redskins fans still think they have a shot at the playoffs. Let's get to it:

• The Ravens got a glimpse of the future of their defense, with linebacker/warrior dance leader Ray Lewis out. In spite of a few long drives where they predictably looked exposed to the inside run,  Baltimore's defense got the job done against the promising Bengals.
• Key to the Ravens' win was its ability to create turnovers, including three Andy Dalton interceptions. Without those picks and a fortunate call on a juggled Jermaine Gresham non-TD, we're looking at a completely different outcome.
• The Bengals offense is legitimately scary for the first time since the Carson Palmer/Chad Johnson days. With A.J. Green out, fellow wideout Jerome Simpson stepped up in a big way, finishing with eight catches for 152 yards.
• Dallas' running back situation is a perfect example of how fickle the position, and the NFL in general, has become. Anointed the full-time starter before the season, Felix Jones struggled with nagging injuries and eventually had to miss a few games. DeMarco Murray, younger and with a similar skill set, sprang up in his place and Jones, in just 11 weeks, is made redundant. Can't blame players like Chris Johnson and Matt Forte for wanting their money up front.
• However, with Johnson's poor post-contract performance so far this year, the market for long-term contracts is as bad as it's ever been.
• Also looking like a bad investment: the Bills' Ryan Fitzpatrick. Buffalo has plummeted back to Earth at light speed over the past few weeks, and its offense is as inept as its ever been.
• The defense isn't great either, allowing three first half Matt Moore touchdowns en route to a 35-8 loss.
• Remember when Dolphins coach Tony Sparano was days away from being fired? Since then, Moore and the resurrected Reggie Bush have sparked Miami to a three-game winning streak. At times, they've looked like the second-best team in their division, behind New England.
• You can lock Matt Moore into the starting QB position right now. Chad Henne becomes another victim of the poorly timed injury.
• In an imitation of Walter Perry's famed touchdown run, the Packers used defensive lineman B.J. Raji as the running back in a goal line situation. He steamrolled for a one-yard TD, to the disgust of fantasy football players everywhere.
• As quarterback Matt Stafford goes, so do the Lions. Detroit looked sunk in the first half following two Stafford interceptions, but came roaring back in the second half once their quarterback found a good rhythm. He finished with five touchdowns and 300+ yards in the win.
• Also good to see running back Kevin Smith remind everyone he still exists. Smith scampered for 140 yards against the porous Carolina defense and provided a needed change of pace.
• The Lions are now 7-3 and look as good as ever, which they'll need to sustain as they head into the brutal part of their schedule. The Packers twice, once each against the Saints and the jelling Raiders. The other two games? Chargers and Vikings, both of which are no slouches.
• Detroit should still get to 10 wins, though. They can beat San Diego, Minnesota and Oakland, and are capable of splitting with Green Bay.
• Tampa Bay's LeGarrette Blount with a beast of a run in the Bucs' bid to upset the Packers. For them to reach the playoffs, Blount will need to break out of the fog of what's been a disappointing season.
• Aaron Rodgers is the presumptive MVP this year, but there's an argument that Minnesota's Adrian Peterson is the best player in the NFL. As other backs have fallen victim to off years or injuries, he's carried a team with no passing game for six games and a rookie quarterback for the next four games. That being said, hopefully his injury is minor.

• The Cowboys' Dan Bailey has the longest made field goal streak in the NFL. His only miss this season was a 21-yarder during Week 2.
• It's a wonder how NFL games were ever referee'd without challenges. Maybe now the refs are just hedging their bets on tricky calls, knowing they have a safety valve, but some of the bad calls made this year would've been season altering if they stood.
• Way too early fantasy football top three for 2012: Cam Newton, Adrian Peterson and Aaron Rodgers. It could be the first time in recent memory (likely ever) that the consensus puts two quarterbacks in the top three.
• Was there really a controversy over Bears receiver Earl Bennett's orange shoes? Dear NFL, Grow up. (cc: ESPN)
• A lot of no-name wide receivers made an impact this week: Miami's Charles Clay, Green Bay's Tom Crabtree, Oakland's Chaz Schilens and Carolina's Kealoha Pilares to name a few.
• Torrey Smith, dragged down by his hair after a catch. That's got to be the worst. (Pic via Mike Tunison)

• Rounding out the top 10 fantasy players for 2012, in no particular order: Arian Foster, Calvin Johnson, Drew Brees, Lesean McCoy, Andre Johnson, Tom Brady, Matt Forte
• Let me know in the comments who I've missed
• He's certainly not working with much personnel-wise, but isn't it time to admit that maybe Rob Ryan just isn't that great of a defensive coordinator? Decent, yes. Good at times. But nowhere near the genius he's made out to be.
• No Jay Cutler means the Bears are doomed. 
• The Dolphins' three-touchdown halftime lead was reportedly their largest since 2000
• One of the few cliches I'll ever agree with an announcer on: When it comes to rivalries like Redskins-Cowboys, the records coming in don't matter. The 'Skins played inspired football, probably their best since Week 1.
• Other rivalries like that: Giants-Eagles, Steelers-Ravens, Jets-Dolphins, Saints-Falcons
• Tony Scheffler takes the crown for worst touchdown dance:

• Congrats AT&T, you've hit your target audience.
• Tampa Bay's Mike Williams caught his first touchdown since Week 1.
• A crazy interception-fumble-scrum sequence near the end of the third quarter in the Ravens game led to an official's worst nightmare (also via Mike Tunison):

• He was okay.
• Even with Cam Newton playing well, Carolina continues to lose games because of its defense. The Panthers D has given up 120+ rushing yards seven times this year, and 300+ yards passing nine times.
• One rookie quarterback played horribly this week for 56 minutes, complete less than 50% of his passes and generating three offensive points. Another rookie quarterback put up 300+ yards, accounted for three total touchdowns and directed his team to 35 points. The first QB, Tim Tebow, won 17-10. The second QB, Cam Newton, lost 49-35. Needless to say, defense is important.
• As of Sunday, the Packers' last loss at Lambeau was 400 days ago, CNBC's Darren Rovell said.
• The Cowboys have now won three in a row, the Redskins have lost six. Neither are very good.
• Factoring in the Giants and Eagles, the NFC East is the baseline of professional mediocrity. The rest of the league can set its watch by that division.
• Don't know what got into the 49ers game plan this week, as Alex Smith threw a season-high 38 times. It worked, kind of, but might be better to stick with the running game that has gotten them to this point.
• The Dolphins' defense has now gone 12 straight quarters without allowing a touchdown.
• Washington's franchise record is .500 for the first time since 1937.
• Everything that could be said about the Giants' loss to the Eagles, Tom Coughlin already said.
• However, the blame starts at the top, and it's a given by now that, under Coughlin, the Giants play down or up to their competition. 
• As a friend put it during the game, that the Giants have so many fourth-quarter comeback wins isn't necessarily a good thing. It just means that they're constantly losing for most of the game.
• In the NFL, if you have a chance to put the nail in the coffin, you hammer that nail as hard as you can. Don't be surprised if the rejuvenated Eagles rip off a winning streak.
• SUCK FOR LUCK: Once Again, Indianapolis Takes All the Fun Out of Something Version.
• Colts (bye): An epic winless season is palpable, and it feels great. The Lions at least came close to winning during their 0-16 year, but Indy gave up about the third week of the preseason. No one's even close to them right now.
• Rams (L v. Seahawks) Would they take Luck despite having Sam Bradford already? Before the season, you'd have to say no way, but there's a tiny bit of possibility at this point. So many holes elsewhere, though, you'd have to think they'd trade it away.
• Cardinals: (L v. 49ers) John Skelton and Kevin Kolb are not legitimate answers.

That's it for this week. Likely no Hangover next week given the holiday, but we'll have some pieces going up over the next few days to keep you busy in between all that wonderful family time.

Enjoy a helping of Tyler Palko Facts and the inevitable Pats-Chiefs bloodbath.

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By Adam Cancryn

It's Week 8, when fans of a select few teams start coming to grips with the fact that their franchise is just not that good. But when will those teams hit rock bottom? For the Redskins, a look back at the last 15 years shows it usually occurs some time in September or December.

• First, a little back patting: After observing last week that the Broncos had adjusted their offensive strategy to resemble a college game plan, FOX's Jay Glazer confirmed just as much this week on Twitter. 

"Broncos have switched offense for Tebow, installing more of a college style -- they have put in stuff from different college offenses and even asked for players' input in devising new attack for Tebow."

• Miami's Matt Moore took the Giants' defense apart for about half the game, in what had to have created flashbacks to 2009 for New York fans. Not only was he zipping passes to wide open receivers, he finished the first half as the Dolphins' leading rusher. 
• The main issue, it seemed, was the Giants' inability to stay in their rushing lanes. Too often the defensive line overran the pocket, leaving Moore with a clear path to run or throw. He took advantage, starting 6/6 for 58 yards before throwing his first incompletion at 12:51 of the second quarter.
• Also hurting the Giants was that classically Coughlin lack of discipline, which resulted in a blatant pass interference penalty and an unnecessary roughness call that set up Miami's first drive score.
• Luckily for New York, they shook off all of that in the second half. Eli Manning was as accurate as he's been this season, and the defensive line took more of a containment approach rather than full-on pass rushing. It paid off, yielding five sacks.
• Loved the electric blue uniforms for Carolina. Almost as much as St. Louis' throwbacks. 

• At this point, how do you even evaluate Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco? He started off the game v. the lowly Cardinals looking just as bad as he did last week, and gave away 14 points off turnovers. Then he comes out of the locker room and promptly leads Baltimore all the way back, finishing 31/51 for 336 yards and setting up three Ray Rice touchdowns. 
• Baltimore has given Flacco just enough rope to hang himself with their shift toward a pass-first offense, and he nearly did so against two consecutive inferior opponents. You had to wonder at some point in the second quarter if backup Tyrod Taylor might see some snaps. That's all forgotten now that the Ravens are 5-2 and keeping pace with the Steelers and Bengals, rather than sitting in third place in the division. Such is the make or break culture of the NFL.
• Crazy, beautifully dysfunctional fumble return for the Jaguars.
• A couple of special teams notes: New York kicker Lawrence Tynes set a team record by making his 134th straight extra point attempt, and Indianapolis punter Pat McAfee had a punt blocked for the first time in 172 attempts.
• Interesting wrinkle the Vikings threw into their offense in the first quarter, putting receiver Percy Harvin in the backfield for a 10-yard touchdown run. 
• During a promotional spot, CBS called the LSU-Alabama game the GAME OF THE CENTURY. Stop. Just stop. 
• Maybe some of that World Series magic rubbed off on the Rams. With the Cardinals and their championship trophy looking on, St. Louis suffocated the Saints' offense while A.J. Feeley directed the offense to 31 points.
• Steven Jackson's 159 yards were his most since the last game of the 2008 season, and his first 100-yard rushing game since December of last year.
• Reggie Bush also put up 100 yards on the ground, just the second time in his career. Coincidentally, both have come against the Giants.
• On the other end of the spectrum, Brandon Jacobs has become a slower Ron Dayne. After moaning about his lack of playing time all week, the Giants backup fumbled his first carry and then promptly dropped a screen pass. The times he held onto the ball, he looked tentative and undecided in the backfield.
• His counterpart, Ahmad Bradshaw, got just 13 rushes on what was a passing-dominated day. But his statistics to this point in his career line up well with those of Tiki Barber.
• Bradshaw: 640 carries for 2998 yards and 22 TDs, a 4.7 average
• Barber: 629 carries for 2806 yards and 15 TDs, a 4.5 average
• There are obviously team factors that make a difference in their respective offensive outputs, but New York would certainly be happy with another eight years of Barber-like production.
• Carolina is now 2-6, with a point differential of -20. By comparison, the Vikings are at 27, Jags are at -65 and Broncos are at -67. All have similar records. The Falcons, who are 4-3 and above Carolina in the standings, have a -5 point differential. All that is to say, the Panthers are very close to being a respectable squad.
• With his last-second touchdown to Lance Moore, Drew Brees kept alive his streak of 34 straight regular season games with at least one passing touchdown.
• The Steelers gave the Patriots a bit of their own medicine this week, seeking out tight end Heath Miller early and often. He finished with seven catches for 85 yards in the win.
• Both Stephen Tulloch and Tony Scheffler made fun of Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow by "Tebowing" after a sack and touchdown, respectively:

• Your obligatory depressing Redskins stats: They had more punts than first downs in the first half, and Washington's 23-0 loss to the Bills was the first time a team coached by Mike Shanahan has been shut out.
• Pittsburgh has become even more of a pass happy team than the Ravens, throwing it 50 times v. the Pats.
• Suck For Luck, iteration eight:
• Colts- Three of last week's top four Suck for Luck candidates played well this week, and one even won. Indianapolis was not a part of this group.
• Dolphins- A valiant try against the Giants, but Matt Moore turned into a pumpkin two quarters too soon.
• Broncos- NEW CONTENDER. Tebow is another terrible game away from John Fox getting on the PA system, looking at the crowd and yelling, "SEE, I told you!" and then cutting the Messiah right then and there. Let's skip any elaboration on Tebow's shortcomings and refer you to the story headlined "Opponent: Tebow experiment is embarrassing."
• Cardinals- Hanging in there after allowing the Ravens to come back from 21 down in the second half.

• Antonio Brown's terrible touchdown dance:

• Good bounce back wins for both the Bills and the Lions. Both got their offensive rhythm going early and sent a message to the rest of the league by utterly crushing their opponents.
• There is no one at the wide receiver position that compares to Detroit's Calvin Johnson.
• New England's decision to go with an onside kick late v. the Steelers showed a complete lack of confidence in their defense. Not that they've done anything to deserve much confidence, but it has been a long time since you've seen that much uncertainty from the Patriots.
• The line of distinction has been drawn in the NFC East. On top: Eagles and Giants. On the bottom: Redskins and Cowboys. And it's not even close.
• At 6-1, the 49ers are well on their way to the playoffs. Per ProFootballTalk, as of 2002 realignment, no team has blown more than a 3 1/2-game lead in their division after week seven.

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